All good things come in threes. Think about it:
The Three Musketeers.
The Three Stooges.
Snap, Crackle and Pop.
Three Blind Mice.
Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
Third time’s a charm.
Rock, paper, scissors.
Peter, Paul, and Mary.
Three cheers for…
Being a family of three.
Everyone always tells me how lucky I am to be an only child.
Yes, being an only child does have its perks. For instance, when all my friends were getting a $5 allowance a week, I was getting a $10 allowance. When I wanted to talk to my friends on MSN, I never had to share the computer-or anything for that matter. And my parents never confused my name with a sibling’s name-except the dog’s.
But society fails to see the other side of being-the lone child.
People with siblings don’t realize that-every night was my turn to do the dishes.
Yes, I realized I was at a disadvantage at a very young age. I had no one to blame whenever I did something wrong. I couldn’t always point fingers at the dog.
Whenever I ate a box of Oreos from the cupboard-the dog did it.
When I broke the lamp- the dog did it.
When I set the microwave on fire-the dog did it.
There’s also a stereotype that only children are socially awkward.
I can see why. But as the only one, you have to improvise somehow.
Instead of friends, I used to talk to my dolls. Even today, I talk to myself any chance I get: at the gym, in the car, and in class.
I used to play board games like Checkers or the Game of Life by myself- I always won. And I once asked my dad to play Barbies with me-he wasn’t so into it.
The only person I could steal clothes from was my mother. Some of the outfits I wore to school in grade five were- a bit dated.
Whenever I’d go out in public with my friends I always made them pretend we were siblings. It was a big deal whenever someone would say we looked and acted like sisters. Even at 23, I still pretend my friends are my siblings in public.
Growing up, I didn’t think it was fair that I was the only girl. Thus, I would go hunting with my dad in the fall and cut firewood with him in the winter. I went a step further on Father’s Day, and got my hunter’s safety license.
As an only child, everything was always two against one. Whenever we went out to eat, we never ate at McDonalds or Chuck E Cheese’s. Instead we ate at places like Red Lobster or Smitty’s- where you couldn’t get a plastic toy. At the dinner table I was always surrounded by adults. We never talked about princesses, horses, or Tamagotchis. Instead we talked about RRSPs, retirement plans, and house insurance.
When you’re the only one, your parents get a tad overprotective.
I was never allowed to play soccer in middle school because I could get hurt. Whenever I went on overnight school trips, my mom insisted I had a chaperone in my room at all times.
A few days ago my mom told me I couldn’t run a half marathon because I was at risk of getting Plantar Fasciitis, a painful foot condition.
My friends always told me I shared too much information with my parents, but I didn’t have anyone else to tell these things to.
Apparently, you don’t tell your parents when you skip class or go to a party where there’s going to be minors drinking. When I went away to university-on the other side of the country, I called my parents to ask if I could go out to a movie on a school night…
Don’t get me wrong, I love and adore both my parents. We’re a triple threat. But as an only child, I do have my concerns.
I will never be an auntie.
If I marry another only child, my children will never have cousins.
I will never be able to go halves with someone on a Christmas present for both my parents.
And finally, my parents told me they always wanted to have seven grandchildren…
I think I’ll take the $5 allowance next time…
Thanks for all that you do mom and dad.
The Lone Child